For example, ask the children to use inside voices rather than to be quiet. Ask them to take the soccer ball outside and play, we play soccer outside.
If they are moving a lot, change to an active lesson.
Model appropriate behavior, don't shame.
If I guide the child twice and they do not change the behavior, then I call them away to discuss it privately, to see if there is something they don't understand, or if there is another issue bothering them.
Conflict resolution:
1. Parties involved stop play.
2. Each child shares what happened and how they feel. No interruptions and everyone gets a chance. This builds empathy. Encourage I messages.
3. We discuss, or negotiate what specifically seemed to be the problem.
4. We make a plan for what to do now, if any restitution should occur, and for next time.
5. If necessary we practice the language we can use. For ex: John, I feel scared, angry, etc. when you grab me in chase, please stop. The other party must repeat the expectation. I don't make kids say they are sorry, but ask if they meant to make them feel a certain way, and ask if there is anything they want to do to help them feel better or make it right. I believe that false sorry is worse than nothing at all. Better option: Next time I will...
6. Once agreement is reached, play resumes.
If both parties are not ready to talk, then they take a bit of time away from the play to calm down until they are. This is not punishment but a cooling off.
We always come back to the conflict and find resolution.
If a child has a problem they follow this plan:
1. Use your words and give your friend a chance to listen.
2. If they don't listen, get Caitlin, Laura, or a peer mediator to mediate and help them listen.
